Are You in a Give and Give Relationship?

I am.  I feel like I give and give.  In the interest of full disclosure, my husband is too.  Many of my friends are jealous that he does the dishes, makes lunches, and does laundry.  And he does all the old-fashioned gentlemanly things too – like go out late at night with the dog, or clean up the rotting pumpkins, clean out the gutters.  He’ll even bring me a cup of coffee when I’m on the couch in the morning writing in my book.  

Sometimes, though it’s me who gives and gives.  I don’t need to list my many gifts to our family.  They are endless.  Among them, of course, are the Holidaze.   I purchase, wrap, and present about 100 gifts a year.  I plan Christmas and Hanukkah parties, meals, decorations.  I cajole and organize school kids. You know the drill.  I give. I give.

I’m not as big a giver as most moms I know, though, I’ll admit.  I volunteer at school – occasionally – and volunteered about 3 years of my life to get our town a community pool, but I’m not a volunteer slut. 

What’s the point of this?  I think we moms have a hard time accepting help, gifts, and support.  We’d rather give than receive.  Receiving is uncomfortable?  It might result in unpleasant side effects – like bad feelings, neediness, unworthiness or guilt. 

 When we’re not happy we have a chocolate bar or mope or drink a glass of wine… we fix ourselves.  Aahhh yes, ready to be happy.  Ready to be cheerful. Ready to help.  Then of course, we pat ourselves on the back.  We’re low maintenance.  Everyone’s dream mom. 

For all my bloggy advice… I’m not sure I can just ask for help when I need it.  Is this good?  Is this even admirable?  Are you in a Give and Give Relationship?  Can you take?  Can you accept help?  Can you askfor help?  do you even recognize when you need help.  (Is this a cry for help? )  One thing I know for sure, you can only change yourself, but lots of people can help you!