by julia_2x on June 4, 2010
Julia Roberts waxed eloquent about motherhood of her two twins, Phineas and Hazel (age7) and their brother Henry (age 4.) Article link. She joyfully points out one of the life-lessons of motherhood that we discuss in Motherhood to Otherhood.
She points out that her kids are excited about everything. The world is still new and intriguing. “Look at the Tree!” one will say from the backseat, and she’ll be reminded to bring herself back into the present moment and back to the pleasures of where she is, and who she is with.
Beginner’s Mind is what it is sometimes called, and it is a worthwhile quest. There is nothing more exciting than beginning. There’s exciting new things to see and try, and people to meet or books to read. The beginning grabs us and holds us.
What happens in “the middle”? We get bored. We don’t sustain our beginner’s mind. We don’t continue to push for new beginnings within the endeavor or project. We don’t feed our childlike glee, curiosity and sense of wonderment within the process.
“Look at the tree!” I’m sure your kids (now or in the past) provide you with all sorts of grounding observations, deep questions, excitment and awe. When we want to sustain our pleasure in our daily tasks, or within a grueling undertaking – like sticking ot a diet, or writing a novel, or stripping the wood in your living room – we need to let that childlike joy, presence and curiosity dwell within us.
by julia_2x on May 26, 2010
As of 2007, women are out-earning their husbands in more than one third of HHs- up from 17.8% in 1987!! This number is likely increase dramatically since then bec of the recession. 2/3 of jobs lost in the economic downturn were men. Read the full article on Careers MSNBC.com for more insight into trends and drivers behind this big change.
Moms are still cutting back spending on themselves… (read the full Adweek article) despite the shift in earning power. 45% of moms have completely eliminated anything they don’t feel is absolutely necessary from their lives. Another 29% of moms downgrade or cut back spending, and target their own luxuries first.
Even though moms are shouldering primary earning responsibility in 33.6% of families, a full 74% of them are cutting back, selflessly. We could chalk that up to the necessities of the economy.
So then I need to know… how is dad’s indulgent spending in this economy? Do they invest in themselves when they need it? Here’s a great pie chart on where the money goes, but not who spends what in the marriage.
It is my experience in the 7 years I’ve been offering seminars to moms that they fell guilty spending on themselves, even when it’s an investment in their future and happiness. The kids get tap lessons, but not you. Your husband needs to unwind with a round of golf, but you’re good with a TV or a nice dinner or a board game. We are working to be happy more cheaply on an everyday basis. But we are not reaping the benefits for ourselves.
This is all great. It is an estimable value to live well on what you earn. I just question whether we take equity in what we earn for our families, what we need to be happy and productive and lead full and independent lives.
